Parental Stress Are you coping with your kids or do you need help?

I recently read an article about women suffering stress after the birth of their baby. There is a lot written about how to cope with a new baby, but apart from the disturbed nights, I think that coping with toddlers, particularly if you have more than one, is equally difficult. Surprisingly there is little advice on how to deal with the parental stress caused by this age group. Several children under the age of five can be totally exhausting. They can wreck a tidy room in five minutes flat by scattering toys and cushions across the floor. Potty training means accidents occur. Washing hands leaves the bathroom floor like a swimming pool. Learning to eat properly using utensils produces yet another pile of washing and ironing. If you are a mom, does this sound familiar? Recently I visited a young single parent in such a situation. After picking my way across the floor to a chair, trying hard not to slip on the pieces of lego and a train set, I started chatting. The Mom was gazing blankly into space and I honestly wondered if she was listening. She assured me she was, but her tiredness was obvious. Fortunately in my area we have a voluntary support group for mothers with young children. I persuaded her to ring them and after an initial visit to discuss the kind of help she needed, a volunteer was assigned. For a few hours each week the volunteer gives whatever help is needed. It can be watching the children while Mom mows the lawn, helping with some decorating or going to the supermarket for a big shop - anything that is difficult to tackle with children under your feet. It was good to watch as a sense of order started to appear. The mother was able to place tasks in order of priority, while a bond quickly formed with the volunteer. If you have several young children and are feeling under pressure, check to see if there is a similar scheme in your area. If not, there are still a number of things you can do to ease the situation. Don't try to be a saint and feel a failure when you don't succeed. Immaculate homes with children are few and far between and I would hate to be a child living in one! Accept there are limitations on what you can do in the time available, but do something. The house may be untidy but it doesn't have to be dirty. When everything is in a mess it is difficult to know where to begin and so nothing gets done. Choose one room to start with and tidy it. Throw rubbish out and put toys in boxes. Next day take the hoover to it. When that room is done move to the next. Work through the house until you finally get back to the first. The rooms may get untidy again very quickly but they will be clean. If you can afford to, replace carpets in the main living areas with wood or vinyl flooring. Accidents of any nature are quickly cleaned up. Sort toys into containers. If you can't afford toy boxes use big plastic containers or laundry baskets. Insist that only one box is played with at a time. Don't decide to tell the children it's time to get rid of some of their toys and start throwing them out, it will only cause uproar. Keep a rubbish bag for toys to be put in. Don't throw anything away until it has been in the bag for a month. If a child hasn't noticed it is missing by then, that's the time to throw it out or donate it to a charitable cause. Finally, although this might seem an effort when you are tired, try going to a play area every day when the weather is fine. It means the house is not getting in a mess, the fresh air will tire the children, and you may be able to relax and watch them play. I talked about this article with the Mom I mentioned earlier and we laughed about the fact that nowadays every problem has to be given a label. We decided we would call it Parental Stress Disorder. Although we were joking, the problem had been very real. If you feel that you are not coping with your young children don't be afraid to ask your doctor for help. He will understand that you are recognising the problem and will advise you. Parental Stress - Are You Coping With Your Kids? © 2006 Disclaimer Fromtots2teens.com accepts no liability for the content of this site nor for the opinions or information in any article. It does not accept liability for companies linked to this site. Advice on health matters should always be confirmed with a doctor and no liability is accepted for any action taken. Sitemap

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